Demons

Demons (1985) is a "slam-bang gorefest," according to The Gore Score (and they would know).  A college student (and Bartok fan!) and her girlfriend get a serious karma smack-down when they decide to play hookie to check out a new movie theater in town.  They find themselves trapped inside with the rest of the matinee audience as the horrific movie they're watching begins to play out in real life.  One by one, the movie-goers are transformed into flesh-eating pus-monsters as they try to find an escape from the demonic theater.

RB: I had 2 different people tell me that this was their favorite zombie movie EVER before we watched it. Apparently I really do just run in circles of giant nerds, but I digress. I mention the former fact because I feel the need to mention that while the same *basic* formula is there, to me these are not actual zombies. We've crossed that line where supernatural horror takes precedent over... pretty much everything. But that's okay. I'm totally into it. Also, why do movies made by Italian directors make so little sense? No, like, even less sense. I'm serious.

BR: More important: why are their soundtracks always so ballin'? This movie does skirt on the edge of true zombie-dom (as well as the edge of reason, sense, and hilarity), but I'd let it slide. I mean, all the basic elements are pretty much there: the epidemic is spread by scratch or bite, they become violent and cannibalistic, they suddenly have a lot more bodily fluids to spray everywhere, and the best way to kill them is with a katana. I will say that this movie really needed some more beheadings. Because, really, what's better than a head of wack-ass 80's perm flying through the air?

RB: Actually, nothing, Brian. Nothing is better than a gross, over-processed perm zombie head spinning through the air while still trying to nom your face. The zombies in this movie ARE plenty gross though. Claws, fangs, inordinate amounts of pus, you name it. And the first demon is so Thriller I can hardly contain myself. You rock that undead Rick James weave, mama. You're a supafreek.

BR: And don't forget those mean spandex. Werk. Real talk, though, it's kinda hard to say what I think of this movie. A lot of crazy shit happens, and I think Dario Argento is a smart dude... but I'm still kind of WTF-ing. You know what? It's a collage. There are a lot of pieces of other zombie movies put together that just confused my expectations. E.G. - you think there's a demonic plot at work, but it kinda fizzles out and changes its mind. Whatever, it's not my favorite, but it's pretty fun.

RB: Ya, agree. I would say that 80's B-grade horror has completely replaced romantic comedies in my movie watching diet in the last year. This is the kind of movie I'd watch when I wanted to watch a movie, but not necessarily think about it. And I'm much better for it. Except that now nobody knows what I'm talking about. Whatever.

Re-Animator

Re-Animator (1985) is loosely based on the H. P. Lovecraft short story "Herbert West - Re-Animator."  An earnest, young med student and his girlfriend get pulled into the odd conquest of a new foreign student, Herbert West.  West has discovered a bizarre liquid that, when injected into dead brain matter, can bring life to the deceased.  When brought back, though, the dead become violent, killing-machines. As the students lose control of their experiments, an all-out blood bath ensues.

BR: Re-Animator makes me want to get into H.P. Lovecraft real bad (I know, I been slacking). There's a uniquely dark/wacky sci-fi feel to it that I'm totally into. Crazy evil scientists? Yes! Glowing Gatorade zombie juice? Yes! Lobotomies? Yes! Ample use of fog machine? Hells. Yes. I also really love that the "hero" isn't much of a good guy. Oh, and zombie-kitty, I will take you home please.

RB: No, nobody seems to much of a good guy. Fine by me. The super-human strength of these zombies is astounding. As are the varying degrees of intellect. One turns into a vegetable before his lobotomy, one has a master plan (y'know, because that's really easy when you've ben decapitated) that includes rape and stealing someone else's work for glory. Another movie that's more horror than zombie, I don't know what to say.

BR: Well, by the time we get to Mr. Decapitated Scientist, we've pretty much thrown out every rule imaginable. For whatever reason, the only one that remotely bothered me was the talking head. He just breathed so much, you know? Whatever, Hulkamania, green goop, and zombie-kitty. You want it.

RB: Total mouth breather. Science Fiction + Gross = Good.